The steep path back to reality

Flashback a year previous...

A.J.: The back door and the frame has dry rot. 
Me: How much do you think that will cost to fix?
A.J.: I don't know. $500? Maybe more. 
Me: Yikes. Can't we fix it?
A.J.: You know how to install a door and new frame?
Me:   No, but they come in kits at Home Depot. I saw it on DIY.
A.J.: You really want to try?
Me: How hard can it be?

Very @#$%ing hard! Even with help, it was pretty much a disaster. Technically it works, but requires three oxen to open or close.
This was pretty much the first thing we fixed on the house and it was an exceptionally good lesson in the first rule of home repair. If you can't live with it being on pieces on the floor for a few days you should probably ask for professional help.
We had looked at the backyard design as a project that we could do in small pieces over years, even possibly do parts ourselves. As we interviewed different contractors, we knew it would be expensive, so we had them keep this idea in mind. Do it in phases. If you can cut cost with a similar idea, pitch it. Everything in the design was negotiable.
The estimates varied a tiny bit between contractors, but even missing a partial roman temple with pillars, it was still expensive.
We talked about which parts we thought we could do ourselves (like the vegetable garden), but every time I caught myself thinking "How hard can it be?" I would find myself looking at that goddamn door and feel the universe laughing at me.
Due to the way things in the design overlap, there wasn't really a good way to do the first phase cheaply. It started with we just want the patio. Well then the grading and the drainage has to be done. Also the posts have to be poured for the pergola even if you're not doing it. At this point the cost was high enough that adding on the actual pergola was almost negligible.
And, hey well you're at it, might as well put in the lights and fans on the pergola.
And if you're putting in sleeves and stubbing off the gas, you might as well pull it over to the BBQ area and hook it up so you can use it.
And you know, grass is only a thousand dollars. Since we're putting in sleeves for the irrigation, we might as well put in the grass and add portions of the irrigation.
Heck, just add in the vegetable garden at this point because the contractor is going to do it better and cheaper than we will be able to stumbling through our outback version of The Back Door.
You can see where this is heading I hope?...No?....

Me: O.K. At what point should we just do the whole backyard and just get this over with?
A.J.: Yeah. That'd be nice...
Me: Did we win the lottery and I just didn't notice?
A.J.: No. Sorry, but no. 
Me: Well, shit then. Phase 1 it is!

We did toy with the idea of doing it all at once and just taking out a loan, but I'm a chicken and the mortgage still frightens me. It doesn't need an entourage.
Having chosen a contractor and a scoped phase that was more reasonable, we proceeded with the next step: Getting the Design Approved.